A Fish Out of Water

Last week, I was prescribed three different medications (one pill to be taken daily and two creams) for the many pestering mosquito bites that seemed to appear daily all over my arms and legs-- in spite of my constant application of 20% Deet bug repellent. (And, mind you, I'm living in a city-- not the jungle!!). In all of my travels and time in the great outdoors, I've never experienced anything like this before. They are quite noticeable on my glowing white skin, and I became so frustrated with the continual urge to itch that I was almost at my wit's end...

I have felt like a small child battling chicken pox.

What was even more enraging was that no one else seemed to have the same problem!!! My huge welts became symbolic of the feeling I've had a lot of lately: "Why's everybody always picking on me?" I have to honestly say that the last few weeks have been rough; I've been struggling with feeling like an outsider-- and I kept thinking that even the darn mosquitoes know that I'm a foreigner!!!

Some of you have heard me express my strong feelings of homesickness and loneliness that I've been experiencing recently, and I think that I'm currently headed upward. But I have struggled so much with not knowing the cultural norms and blending in that I think it may take me a while to feel at "home" here.

I think I would feel better about being an "outsider" if Colombia weren't so dangerous for foreigners. I have been told time and time again about certain rules to follow to stay safe (My least favorite= "Sit in the aisle of the bus if there's a seat available, as it is harder to rob you there." My instinct is to head straight for the breeze of the window to assist me in tolerating the hot stuffiness of the crowded vehicle!), and perhaps I've gotten a little paranoid... But (frankly) I get scared sometimes and don't know who to trust. Even taxis are allegedly dangerous. Then, when I need help, I am afraid to ask because so many people have told me, "Don't talk. As soon as someone hears your accent, they'll know that you're not from here... And bad things will happen." I also get asked sometimes, "Don't you know that it's a bad idea to be by yourself?", but I usually don't have any other options. Perhaps these are exaggerations, but they sure don't make me feel comfortable...

I also am having a hard time with the (from an American's perspective) seeming lack of effectiveness of the systems in place. I obviously want the best for the people here, but there's so much that really needs to be improved with the way things work. For instance, I saw four car wrecks (not the actual events taking place, but the remnants once they had occurred) on Friday (Yes, that was in ONE day!), and each one was just craziness. I thought of how easy it would be to call 9*1*1 in the United States, wait a few minutes for the police/ambulance to arrive, and get everything under control in an efficient manner. Here, that's definitely not the case. Traffic was absolute chaos for a very long period of time (With lots of honking and road rage), and the police didn't seem capable of handling the situations. Meanwhile, who knows what was happening to the poor people who had been injured...

I've recently made two foreign friends: one from Germany and one from Spain, and it has been so nice to have the support of people who are sharing a similar experience (By the way, they both have had the same problem with mosquito bites, which made me feel so much better about it!). My Spanish friend, Rosario, told me that she was so afraid for the first month that she hardly ever left her home. She has started to adjust more, and I'm sure that I will eventually, too. I am so glad that I'm meeting lots of Colombians, but I really value these friendships of people who have found themselves in the same circumstances as me. I thinks it helps us all to process the realities of Colombia.

Thus, I am happy to report that my mosquito bites have improved dramatically, and my outlook is getting better as well. 80)

[I hope to post more shortly about the many good things and people found in Colombia, as the country does have nice things to offer!! I now must immerse myself in my studies, but be on the lookout for more photos and commentaries within the next day or so...].