Cringing just thinking about it...

Volunteering in a place for girls who've been abused, I've heard some pretty yucky stories of things that they've had to endure in their short lives. But I think the story that has affected me most comes from a young woman who's not even one of my students. Her tale is very disturbing, so be prepared before reading it here:

Like a lot of her relatives, Marisol was a product of incest (her father was also her grandfather), which means that she was born with mental disabilities. She looked absolutely normal, but her mind was not capable of performing the tasks that a "normal" one could. She learned to get the love and affection that she needed from older men and developed very sexual mannerisms at an early age. When it was discovered that her father/grandfather was getting sexual with her, she was put into the Maria Gorreti Home.

It was there that she was able to escape from that risky, horrible environment and learn practical life skills-- like how to ride the bus, how to use money, how to take care of herself, etc. She made a lot of progress.... BUT.... then, she turned 18.

At 18, she was no longer able to live there, and there were no other government agencies that could take care of her. Her immediate family was deemed "unfit" (of course!), and other relatives (who also had incest in the family) were also deemed incapable of taking care of her. Finally, it was decided that a woman who had known her almost her entire life would be trusted with Marisol's care. And she left the Maria Gorreti Home for good.

However, Marisol continued to periodically pop into MG because it offered her free toiletries, feminine supplies, etc. that she needed. The Director, Amparo, soon heard that her "guardian" had kicked her out because she'd been spending a lot of time with a man, and she was now living with this man.

One day, when I was there, Marisol came in wearing a pretty seductive, strapless, backless little gold dress with matching gold high heels to accompany it. Amparo told her, "Marisol, what are you doing in this outfit? You can't wear something like this. It is very disrespectful for your own body." She then offered to exchange the dress and shoes for a pair of pants, new tennis shoes, and a t-shirt that she had in the donations closet. Marisol agreed and left, seemingly content with her new addition to her wardrobe.

Yet, apparently, she returned the next day (I wasn't there) with all sorts of signs of abuse on her face and body. She explained that the man whom she lived with was very angry that she had given up her golden outfit because he had bought it for her... and it later came out that he was prostituting her out, keeping all of the profit for himself! Basically using her as a sex slave for other men!!!

Marisol said she knew this was not right, and she did not like it, but she didn't know what else to do. She wanted her dress back because she didn't want to be hit again, and Amparo gave it to her. [Another somewhat unrelated thought: She has no phone and doesn't know her address (she couldn't even remember how to write her name when I asked her for it), so contacting her is very complicated].

Amparo then started calling around to find an agency or foundation that could help Marisol, but there was nothing. She said, "There's no one to help her because she's not a child any more." "What about the police?" I asked. "HA!" she replied, "Like they'd do anything." "What about the Instituto Colombiano de Bienestar Familiar [basically the welfare/CPS of Colombia]?" I asked. "They won't do anything either, as she is over 18." I started thinking of all the places I could call in the US that would help in a situation like this one, but most of them don't exist in Colombia and wouldn't help her if they did.

Therefore, Amparo came up with an idea: "You know, we taught her functional skills here. She can clean," she said, "We need to find some nursing home or somewhere where she could get room and board in exchange for doing the cleaning. She would be safe there." So, she called a few places with absolutely no luck. She told me to ask around, and I asked everyone I could think of if they could take in a live-in cleaning lady (live-in housekeepers are very common here). Nada. I found absolutamente nadie who could help her; it was really upsetting to me.

Sooooooooooo, poor Marisol continues living with this man, subjecting herself to who-knows-what kind of treatment and who-knows-what kinds of diseases. I hope that she is able to find some way to get out of her harmful surroundings; please pray that she moves on to something better. And let's also hope that new foundations will be born in Cali that assist people (including adults) with mental disabilities and women stuck in abusive and destructive situations.